The ICE Training Manual
First step: pepper spray
Second step: the gun
Cover your face
Present no ID
Target those who “don’t belong”
If they question you
If they film you
If they stand between you
and someone you are harassing
First step: pepper spray
Second step: the gun
Enter apartment buildings
in the dark of night
Find anyone, everyone,
Arrest them for breathing
Zip-tie them, and their children
Find a threat
Invent a threat
Be the threat
First step: pepper spray
Second step: the gun
Drag protestors away by the collar
After you shoot rubber bullets into their eyes
Even when you are off duty,
You can still pull the trigger
You are never off duty
First step: pepper spray
Second step: the gun
Pretend the atrocities they see
aren’t just the tip of the ICEberg
You have a governmental kidnapping
job to do, and it shall not be impeded
by any of the amendments
we will be ignoring
First step: pepper spray
Second step: the gun
Explode tear gas beneath cars
with six-month-olds and their siblings
returning from basketball practice
First step: pepper spray
Second step: the gun
Grab five-year-olds
in their blue hats and spider-man backpacks
off the street, out of their schools
Use them as bait
First step: pepper spray
Second step: the gun
Fire ten times into the nurse
restrained on the ground
Blame the gun
that never left the holster
First step: pepper spray
Second step: the gun
Emptied canisters can still
be smashed into restrained bodies
First step: pepper spray
Second step: the gun
Falsify reports
Even if the camera is rolling
The camera won’t always be rolling
Stop the camera from rolling
First step: pepper spray
Second step: the gun
If they are a mom in a car,
Say you were afraid
Of her slowly-moving vehicle,
Of her smile
When she starts to drive away…
First step: pepper spray
Second step: the gun
The steps do not need to be followed
in order
Written January 31, 2026