When You Put Everything in the Pot (Except Mercy)

“If you want to know how to cook a live lobster,” the article reads, “make sure you know the best way to ease its suffering” (1)

The juxtaposition of pain and pleasure

The scalding pot,

the melting butter

The smell of death

and lemon juice

The extinction of life,

while you salivate in anticipation

“If you are serving squeamish diners, the type that don’t want to think of lobster suffering” (2)

But still, you know, want to eat them

“They do a lot of stuff that makes it seem like they are trying to get out.” (2)

But hang tight,

dinner is on the way

“They try to knock the lid off the pot.” (2)

Hold down that lid

“They even spread their claws over the rim in an apparent effort to prevent being placed in boiling water.” (2)

What strange behavior

Please cooperate

while I’m trying to kill you

“Minimize the chance of food poisoning by cooking the lobster alive” (1)

See, I had no choice

“Of course, there are those who believe that the thrashing of a lobster in a boiling pot is evidence of pain” (2)

But no time to worry about that,

dinner is coming to the table

Grab a bib,

this is gonna get messy

“Twist off That Tail” (3)

“Crack Those Claws” (3)

“Break off the six little ‘walking’ legs and suck the meat out of them” (3)

Lick your fingers,

your job is done

Every morsel of flesh that once made

a living creature

now lies in your belly

Don’t wonder how strange it is

to claim to care about an animal’s suffering

and choose to cause it anyway

Don’t consider that you may not have had

their best interest in mind

when your answer for easing someone’s suffering

is to boil them alive

and eat their remains

(1) Villazon, Luis. Why Are Lobsters Cooked Alive and Do They Feel Pain? sciencefocus.com

(2) Kelley, Pat. Do Lobsters Make Noise When Being Cooked? oureverydaylife.com

(3) Watson, Molly. How to Eat a Lobster. thespruceeats.com

Written December 28, 2021