Science Spoke (Again) But You Decided Not to be Sustainable Because “Vegans Are Pushy”

The waves were

rocking about us,

the sea level rising 

and dark storms 

gathered overhead

There were millions 

of us splashing

and bobbing,

not knowing 

how much longer

we could stay afloat

Some vegan was 

frantically

turning hemp 

and broccoli 

into life rafts 

of sustainability 

and tossing them 

to all within reach

But the rafts weren’t 

wrapped in bacon

so they didn’t 

exactly entice us

Besides, the vegan 

was rude and 

obnoxious,

not asking politely,

being all judgy

about our holding 

cows underwater,

one of the few

enjoyments we 

treasured in

our watery lives 

Damn pushy vegans

drive me crazy

So I drowned

instead of touching 

his hippy raft

Ha! I showed him 

and died more politely

Inspiration for the poem: My amazing (nonvegan) friend shared this brilliant NYT article (by a nonvegan) that notes meat is killing the planet and, at the least, if we can't join vegans, we should not mock, but support them. The response from 2 of the 5 commenters: "vegans are pushy"

Written August 30, 2019