Crayola Crisis

I’m asked to use a color to describe how I’m feeling and I balk / unsure / no idea how

to choose the appropriate color / or if color can even connect to my feelings / and perhaps /

unsure / how I am feeling

So I say nothing / No color I can offer / comes to mind

Not then / my mind struggling on emptily / But now / looking back /

in comfort without time constraints, / I’m trying

I was happy / certainly / to be amongst friends / maybe some yellow of cheer /

deserves its place / but yellow is also used / for fear / or cowardice

And maybe I am / afraid / of a world / whose bigotry and anger /

whose sexism and homophobia / rears its head daily

And red is anger / and I have that

in a country where the Supreme Court / could call takebacks /

on a woman’s right / to control her own body

where we could look away / and laugh /

at the plight of the billions / killed for our taste buds

But red can mean love / and I feel that too

Blue can mean trust / and I trust those /

I am spending this evening with

But blue / can mean sadness

And every day / there is enough of that /

to go around / I have built no immunity /

to that shade of blue

I spin the roulette color wheel /

figuratively dumping the Crayola box /

glancing at my options

And whether it is the absence of color /

or all the colors at once /

all I can see / is a blank page

An empty canvas / waiting for a rainbow /

to come / after the storm

Written May 4, 2022